Taking a Chance

March has arrived in New Hampshire and so has the howling winds.  Today in New England it is one of those days where you wait 5 minutes and the weather changes. Accompanying the strong winds today we have had snow squalls that look like a white out with gigantic snow flakes,  Then  moments later, the sun comes out and the snow is melting off the roof.  We are all had just enough of the snow and we are counting the days 'til Spring and dreaming of the day the tall snow banks are replaced with green grass. 

I just finished up my fifth round of chemo on Friday.  This cycle completely wiped me out.  Each passing day last week it seemed as though my energy diminished.  By Friday, I slept through my entire treatment which is very unusual for me.  Usually I spend the time chatting with my nurses and who ever joins me at the spa that day.  But Friday, I could barely keep my eyes opened.  Fortunately, this is my week off of treatment and it just happens to coincides with my kids' Winter Break from school.  I am so looking forward to spending the week off of meds and just hanging with the kids.   

Lately I have been tossing around the idea to Mike that we should add to our family.  Relax, I am not talking babies!!  I have been talking about adopting another dog.   We already have our Beautiful Flower.  She is a black lab mix with a birthday coming up this month.  Flower will be turning 3.  We adopted her about a year and a half ago and is was the best decision.  She has brought us so much happiness and watching our children play and cuddle with her just melts my heart.  I am a big fan of the book The Art of Racing In The Rain, and I truly believe Flower has sensed my illness since before my diagnosis.  Lately, I have been thinking that Flower needs a brother or sister.  Mike of course thinks that I am nuts.  I guess having 2 sets of twins, a dog, recovering from a stem cell transplant, and undergoing chemo isn't enough excitement for me.  In Mike's own words, "What's wrong with just managing life?  Why do you have to change it up and bring on new challenges?"  I guess that is what keeps me living.  Life has never been dull for Mike and I, why start now? 

So, on Sunday we visited the shelter.  We met a beautiful hound mix named Chance.  Against all odds, he is a survivor.  When he was only a couple of months old he had one of his hind legs amputated because of an infection.  He has spent all of his 1 1/2 years in a shelter.  He has never spent a night in a loving home with a  family.  Yet, when we met him he was so happy and sweet.  Limited by his handicap?  No way!  He can jump and run better than any dog I've met.  The kids instantly fell in love.  Mike was still on the fence about adding to our already busy family.  And to be honest, I was a little hesitant about adopting him.  I was worried about the fact that he only had 3 legs and wondered if he would require special care.  That night at home the kids kept chanting, "Let's give Chance a chance!"  How sweet, right?

Monday morning I woke up and all I couldn't get Chance off my mind.  Of course the kids were still chanting for Chance.  But all I could think of was about his strength.  That despite his imperfections he showed such strength.  He wasn't going to let the fact that he only has 3 legs get him down.  There was a lot I could learn from this little guy.  Lately, I have felt pretty damaged myself.  As you know, I didn't have the results I was hoping for after my stem cell transplant.  I am still fighting the fight.  I may never be one of the lucky ones to have a complete response.  I am hoping this next round of chemo destroys the remaining myeloma cells.  But the reality is, this is going to be my continued battle.  I need to learn to live my life as fully as I can without letting my ugly cancer get the best of me and handicap me.

So needless to say, yesterday we brought Flower to meet Chance.  It was puppy love from the start!  Chance and Flower ran around and played for a good hour before they both collapsed next to each other.  Once they chilled for a bit, it was our time to bond with Chance. There was no question, Chance was going to complete our family.  I will never forget the smiles on my kids faces and on Flower's face. Mike, the rational one in the family reminded me how irresponsible it was to be doing this right now with everything we have going on and with the uncertainty of the future. But Mike knew he could lecture me until pigs could fly, and it didn't matter.    It was one of those beautiful moments that just felt so right. Lately, when I am fortunate enough to have those moments, those little signs.....I listen, I trust, and I move forward.  So that is exactly what we did!

Chance has been a complete joy.  We spent the day watching the dogs play and taking them for walks.  Flower has been showing Chance the ropes.  She even lets him get up on her chair in the living room.  Flower loves that mommy has brought out the training treats again.  Today we worked on "sit".  Flower of course is the perfect veteran student.  Chance can now wiggle himself to a sit position.  He is definitely treat motivated!  Watching this little guy wiggle and hobble around is incredible.  He's even mastered the stairs.  Although tonight his legs were done and Mike had to carry him upstairs to bed.

The Dreyer house is now complete.  I now have 6 little ones and of course Mike fighting for my attention.  And you know what, I'm loving it!  I couldn't be happier.  I love that they all need me and that I finally have the strength to be here for all of them.  The energy level in my house is at an all time high with all the excitement, kids and dogs running/hopping around, and I love it.  Call me crazy!  But this is what life is all about for me.

Tonight as I tucked in my 4 kids, 2 dogs, and kissed my wonderful husband good night, I feel like life is continuing to bless me.  I am so thankful for today and I can't wait to wake up tomorrow to all the noise and chaos.   We took a chance on Chance and it looks like we are winning the lottery.  From the moment I met him, I felt an unexplained surge of energy.  In fact, the last couple of days I reached the 5 mile mark on the treadmill!  It feels so good to be running again.  I feel so strong and healthy every mile I run.  It's like a drug for me.  Once I finish a run, I keep thinking about the next time I go.  Today I met with my trainer.  It is great to feel muscle soreness from working out again and to see lost muscles come back!

Tomorrow I promise to post pictures of our new addition.  I am so happy we listened to our hearts and took a chance on Chance.  We all have so much love for this special boy .  I believe he is here to help all of us by showing us about the will to live and the strength that comes from within. 


Sweet Dreams!

Love,

Jeanie