A New Year.... New Adventures!

Happy New Year!  I cannot believe it has been so long since I last posted.  That is an indication of how well life is going.  Life has resumed to it's busy pace.  Lately it has been hard to carve out some quiet time to myself to reflect and to write.  Today before the kids rushed off to school I was giving them all a lecture about being responsible for their gloves, hats, etc.  Yup the small stuff matters again, yeah!

The holidays this year were wonderful.  It was great to be my energetic self again.  I cherished every moment of decorating the house, picking out special presents, the wrapping and of course all of the baking.  The smells and sounds of Christmas that fill our home is absolute heaven!  After being so sick last year, it was so great to have a big hand in creating the "magic" of Christmas!

After the holidays, as I was packing up all many boxes of decorations, I couldn't help think what next Christmas may bring.  I can only hope and pray that life continues to blossom and that we will be all together celebrating.

In my previous posts you may have read how my friend Suzi and I won VIP Tickets to the Ellen Show at the MMRF Fall Gala in October.  Well the time has finally come and we are flying out to California on Friday.  We are so excited!  It is so funny how irony works.  When I first got diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma in June 2010, Suzi wrote to the Ellen Show.  She shared my story and all the efforts we have been making with the Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation.  Although we never heard back from anyone from the show, I believe it planted the seed for what was to come.  So in October at the Gala when Suzi and I saw the auction item for the The Ellen Show, we knew we had to bid.  When we found out we won the tickets we were so thrilled!

We are not quite sure what VIP tickets mean.  What we do know is that we will be at the studio on Monday, January, 23 for the taping of her show.  I think it may air on Tuesday, Jan. 24.  We hope we get the chance to meet her.  The MMRF is putting together a fun package that we can hopefully give to Ellen personally.  I will be sure to post lots of pictures!  Look for Suz and I dancing in the audience!

In addition to getting ready for my trip I am in week 14 of my training for the Boston Marathon.  This Friday Suz and I will be doing our long 12 mile run in California!  It's been so cold around here lately so we have had to run indoors.  It will be so great to run outside!  I think we will definitely make it a nice coastal run!  Hard to believe race day is only 88 days away.  This time around, I am following a comprehensive running/strength training schedule from the book The Marathon Method, by Tom Holland.    Hopefully being better prepared in my training as well as with my nutrition and fueling I will avoid the medical tent this race!

Please click on the link to visit my fundraising page.  We are running as part of the MMRF PowerTeam!  My fundraising goal is $4000.00  I appreciate any contributions!  If you would like to honor a loved one who is battling cancer today or has lost the big fight, please sponsor me a $1 per mile for the big day, and  I will wear your loved one's name on my running shirt!

http://www.active.com/donate/2012mmrfBoston/JDreyer8

I will keep you all posted with our adventures in California.  Now time to figure out what to pack!  Have a great day!
Love,
Jeanie

Many Blessings On This Thanksgiving Morning

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  I woke up at 5 this morning full of emotions and thoughts racing in my head.  I decided to head downstairs while the house is still quiet.  I've poured myself a nice hot cup of pumpkin spice coffee and I'm going to just type away.

It seems as though life for us has found the "new normal".  The kids are keeping us busy with school and sports and activities.  I have returned to subbing in the schools.  With the exception of taking a few pills a day  and going to the doctor's once a month, I really don't have to think about "cancer" all that much. It is crazy.  I wonder how I even got here.  Last year,  on November 18 I had my stem cell transplant.  Looking back at all my journal entries of that time, I can still remember every moment like it was yesterday. I can remember how the top of my  head tingled as my hair follicles died.  I can remember the smell of the Transplant Unit after I received my stem cells.  Ugh, who knew something that could save your life would smell so bad! If I close my eyes I can still hear the beeping of all the monitors in the room.  I remember the exhaustion I felt just from getting out of bed to go to the bathroom or to take a stroll in the hallway.

Last Thanksgiving, Mike, the kids, my brother Rob and my parents came in to visit me in the morning.  I can remember as they left to go have their dinner at my sister's house, how sad I felt.  I was sad that I was stuck in the hospital on of my favorite holiday.  But even more, I was scared that this was a glimpse of how the future may be.  Was I ever going to be able to really enjoy the holidays again?  Would I even be healthy next year?  I was so scared and felt so lonely.  I can remember the nurses coming in and holding me and letting me cry on their shoulders. When I didn't have any more tears left, I fell asleep and slept the day away.  I literally slept 18 hours.

The day after Thanksgiving it is our family tradition to go to our favorite Christmas Tree Farm in Sterling, MA and pick out our perfect tree.  We have been doing it for years, every since before the boys were born. Although Mike expressed to me that he didn't want to do it without me, he rallied and did it for the kids. I can remember him sending me photos of them cutting the tree down.  Once again I was a puddle of tears in my hospital room.

It is really easy to let life get busy and just go through the motions.   When I allow myself to slow down and really reflect on the last year I quickly become overwhelmed with emotions.  I cannot believe a year, as difficult as it was,  has passed by so quickly.  I have way too many blessings to even count.  First and foremost is of course my health.  Today I still have no Myeloma detected! Thanks to incredible doctors, amazing medicine, and the power of prayer.   Family and friends are next.  Without all of you, I would not be here today.  You have given me so much strength and love.  There have been countless other people that I have met over the year.   Your stories inspire me and continue to give me strength.  I have seen first hand the incredible human spirit that exists.  The hundreds of letters, emails and messages I have received have touched my heart and kept my spirits up on my saddest days.

Last month I had the incredible opportunity to attend the Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation 2011 Fall Gala. The best way to describe the night is magical!  The gala took place in a beautiful tent, while a snow storm was going on outside.  Over 1300 people braved the weather and attended.   $2.1 million were raised that night.  Incredible!  There was a silent auction and Suzi and I won tickets to the Ellen Show!  Wahoo!  We can't wait to go to LA!   Stevie Wonder, Michael MacDonald, Darius Rucker (from Hootie and The Blow Fish) and Javier Colon (winner of The Voice) were the entertainment.  Over the top, right?  Together on stage, they were amazing!  Stevie Wonder was honored with the Spirit of Hope Award.  His acceptance speech was very moving and he left us with this thought, " Don't just talk about it, be about it."  That is exactly what the MMRF is all about.

Eric, Suzi, Mike and I 

I had the incredible honor of meeting Kathy Giusti, founder of the MMRF.  She is an incredible woman.    Being in her presence alone is in inspiring.  She is an incredibly warm beautiful woman with such awesome drive and determination.  I couldn't help but tear up when I met her as I tried to formulate words to express  my gratitude for all that she has done.  She then told me how much I reminded her of herself.  Wow!  This is coming from the woman who has given me so much strength hope and has inspired me so much.  Meeting Kathy is definitely one of those magical blessing that has come out of my cancer diagnosis.

Suzi, Kathy Giusti and I

The MMRF 2011 video was played during the Gala.  This was the first time we had seen it.  It was overwhelming to say the least, listening to our voices and seeing us on the big screen in front of so many people.  The video came out beautiful and it truly was such an honor to be a part of it.  I have attached the file here so you can watch it.

MMRF Gala Video 2011

During the Gala, I had the opportunity to talk with so many people.  Both patients and caregivers.  One woman in particular Deborah Dietzler stands out in my mind.   Suzi and I were waiting in line to go into the ladies room when we met up with Deborah.  Her sister is the patient. Deborah's energy was infectious!  I could just tell in the short time that I spoke with her how much she loves her sister.   Deborah has dedicated herself to supporting her sister in every way possible.   She has dedicated her time and energy to the MMRF.  She had just completed the Chicago Marathon in October to help raise money and awareness for Multiple Myeloma.  Her sister is about to go through the stem cell transplant.  I could see the fear in Deborah's eyes.  It was wonderful to be on the other side of that, and show her how strong and healthy I am now.  My thoughts and prayers  are with Deborah and her sister and her family as they travel the difficult path that will hopefully lead to years of health.

Well, the table is set, the pies are made, the vegetables are chopped and the big 21 lb. turkey will be ready to go in the oven shortly.  Soon the house will be filled with the incredible aromas of a Thanksgiving and the kids will be sitting in the living room watching the Macy's parade.  Our challenging year is behind us as we celebrate so much this year.  Thanksgiving has a whole new meaning in her home.  I have to pinch myself to really truly believe that I am here.  I am healthy and heck I'm hosting dinner today!  Amazing!  Tomorrow we will go to our favorite tree farm and pick out this year's Christmas Tree!

On this Thanksgiving Day I wish you all beautiful moments of love and family.  You will all be included in my blessings around my table today.  Thank you for all your continuing love and support.

Love,
Jeanie

The Morning After

It's the morning after the big race, the Baystate Marathon in Lowell, MA.  I am happy to report that I actually walked down the stairs this morning without too much pain and made it down to the bus stop and back!  The legs are feeling pretty good and no blisters!  But this is not to say that the marathon was uneventful.  It was anything but.  What would life be with just a little drama, right?

Mike, me,  Leslie, Beth and Sarah before the race

Yesterday morning, Mike and I woke up very early to make sure we could have a power breakfast of oatmeal and 1 cup of coffee.  With that, we woke up the kids up and we were out the door by 6AM.  It was a beautiful cool autumn morning.  Fantastic day for a long run. A little windy but overall just beautiful. Our first stop was to drop off the kids at Beth's house and pick up Beth and Leslie.  They were running the half marathon along with Mike.  Once we reached the start of the race, we were all excited and our nerves were in check.  We of course had to capture some pre-race shots!  Notice all the smiles!  When it came time to leave Mike and the others to get in the marathon start line I was feeling confident that I was going to have a great race.  Suzi and I had trained so hard for this day.  The miles we clocked, especially in the heat of the summer.  My only hesitation, was how I was going to get through the last gruesome miles after mile 21 without  Suz.  She injured her hip about a month ago, and unfortunately could not run.  This was such a disappointment to both of us.  But, she would be on the sideline cheering me on.  She was certainly going to be in spirit with me every step of the way.  But, I knew those last miles were going to be the most challenging.

MIke and I before the race

A good luck kiss!

The start of the race was great!  For those who have not experienced it yet, just the sight of all those runners together all setting out to run the long 26.2 miles.  Everyone was there for different reasons.  Some, to qualify for the Boston Marathon, others as a goal to check off their bucket lists.  And then there was me. Why was I there?  What did I have to prove?  Well, it has been 11 months since my stem cell transplant.  Eleven months since I was given the gift of life again.  I can't help think how all of my health issues have affected my 4 children and my husband not to mention, my parents, siblings, and close friends.  I felt like I needed to prove to them and to myself that I am strong and I am determined not to be defined by my illness  But rather, accept it for what it is, (a crappy diagnosis) and live everyday stronger, happier and so determined to win in the end!  So that's how I started the race.

 I reached the 13.1 mile mark at 1:58.  Halfway there, and so far I felt great!  I met some great people along the way, and really found my groove. Now, if I could only keep it up.  My next goal was to reach 16.   I passed 16 and was on to 18 still feeling great.  No pain, no major issues.  I tried to be good with fueling.  I finished my water pack and was on to the water give at every couple miles.  I finished off a package of Clif Shot Blocks.  I was really going to do this and do it within 4 hours.  I was so pumped.  The head winds started to pick up a bit, which added a little challenge as well seeing runners dropping out.  But, I tried to stay focus at each step, and move forward.

By mile 21, fatigue had certainly set in.  My left quad was really tightening up and my stomach was not feeling so great.  I so much wanted to stop and stretch, but I knew if I did, it would be hard to get running again.  So, I tried to just run through it.  My pace certainly was slower, as many runners were beginning to pass me.  It began to feel like each mile mark was 10 miles away.  Mile 22, only 4.2 more.  I can do this.  I kept repeating myself.  After all that I have been through in last year and a half, this is nothing. Well,  it sounded good.  But my body did not agree, and did not want to listen.  My stomach was feeling weaker and nausea had definitely set in.  Fatigue was at a high and my quad was burning.  God, did I want to stop. But I couldn't, not with my kids at the finish line waiting for me.  I tried every mind game to ignore how I was feeling.  Finally, I reached mile 24.  Only 2.2 left.  I could do this. I grabbed a cup of water from the sideline, took in some pretty deep breaths and tried to kick it in. Of course, at this point it felt like my legs were barely lifting up.  Seriously, I think I could have walked faster.  I finally reached mile 25.  Only 1.2 left.  At the most 10 minutes left  and then I would be done.  For a brief moment I felt a high and a little burst of energy.  But that was quickly replaced with sharp pains in my stomach and feeling light headed.

My amazing kids literally pushing me to the finish line!

Finished!

Well after the excitement of the finish line, the drama set in.  I guess I was looking very pale and even a little green. As well as the fact that I couldn't walk a straight line.  I was quickly escorted to the med EMT's where I was put on a stretcher to the med tent.  Just as I suspected, my blood pressure had severely dropped.  I usually have very low blood pressure to begin with, but it had dropped to about 80/48.  At the same time I was shivering.  Well, this was nothing that a bag of fluids couldn't fix. So that's what they did.  After several attempts, they finally got an IV in me.  I guess being so dehydrated, even makes it hard for people like me with great veins. I think the worse part of all of this, was the fact that my legs began to really tighten up as I was lying there.  Fortunately a nurse by the name of Maureen, was also a massage therapist.  She was the woman with the magic hands!  She also hooked me up with some warming blankets!  This wasn't so bad.  It almost was like a little spa treatment with the exception of of the the IV!  Ironically Maureen, shared with me that her brother-in-law also has Multiple Myeloma and was just released from the hospital from his stem cell transplant.  She was amazed that I ran and she shared with me that she couldn't wait to tell her brother all about me.  He is an avid skier and hopes to hit the slopes soon.  I told her to tell him to do it as soon as he feels strong enough.   Getting back to things I love and are passionate about has been the best therapy for me.

After a couple of hours, my blood pressure finally reached 90/62.  Low for some, but pretty normal for me.  So, they let me go!  Once we picked up the kids, I took a much needed hot hot shower , as I was still shivering.  After my shower I collapsed on the couch and slept for 3 hours.  I woke up just to drink some water, and eat a bowl of cereal.  Finally my stomach was feeling a little better.  And then I was back to bed by 8:30.

So after some much needed sleep I am finally feeling alive again.  I now finally am realizing all that occurred yesterday.  My husband had a major accomplishment.  He not only ran his first half marathon, but he did it in an impressive time, 1:58.  I am so proud of him! He says I am his inspiration for running.  I think he had it in him all along.   Also, my friends Beth, Leslie and Sarah had an awesome race as well.  I am so proud of all of them!    Although, I did not sprint across the finish line with a smile on my face, I did finish it.  And I have the photos to prove it.  They are not the most flattering photos, as I look pretty pale and pretty slow.

So what's next?  Well, some very much needed rest and recovery.  I am looking forward to taking a little time off from the long runs and maybe switching it up a bit with a little boot camp and kickboxing and much needed strength training.  In another month or so, it will be time to start training for the Boston Marathon.  Hopefully I can learn to fuel better during the race and hopefully avoid another trip to medical tent!

The MMRF Gala is coming up on Oct. 29th and I am so excited.  I just got my dress and now I just need to find the perfect shoes.  Mike has decided he is going to wear a tux!  I can't wait to see him all dressed up.

Thank you all for your love and support.  So far living with Multiple Myeloma isn't so bad!  You all really know how to make a girl feel loved and special!  Enjoy this beautiful day for all it has to offer!

Love,
Jeanie